Dear Lord, Please don't let me look as freakish as I feel.
Amen.
You know what I'm referring to. That mental appearance checklist that you go through when you have pcos. That checklist that drums through your head much like a particularly irritating song lyric or some crucial tenet of newfound religion. After all, as civilized and open-minded as some members of our society might be, the world just isn't quite ready to see the natural, unembellished effects of pcos on a girl. I think it goes against the grain of our culture and may even break an amendment or two. Or maybe not. Anyway, a girl with pcos feels obligated to cushion the blow, as much as possible anyway, to the general public.
Of course, it's absolutely positively mandatory that you run through the pcos checklist quite thoroughly first thing in the morning. I mean, one can't face the world looking like one belongs in the circus, even if somedays you can't help feeling like you belong there. The day should at least start out as normal as possible. And, it's still crucial that you run through the checklist periodically as you go about your daily routine out amongst the general public. And yeah, it still feels rather obligatory to run through the checklist at least a time or two even while in the comfort of your own home. There's just some things a girl doesn't necessarily want her husband to know. In many of these instances, ignorance is, indeed, bliss.
Bleached/tweezed offending hair, as necessary? Check!
Shaved offending hair, as needed? Check!
Utilization of necessary miracle skin-care products to control acne that plagues us still? Check!
Expertly applied super-absorbent facial powder to control unwanted oil-slick-like shine? Check!
Lipstick chosen in flattering neutral tone to draw attention to more attractive aspects of face and away from blotchiness of skin? Check!
Covertly styled hair to camouflage hair loss, employing creative use of hats and/or super-holding styling products, as needed? Check!
Rogain (need I explain more?)? Check!
Birth control pills (or insert your fertility potion of choice here), glucophage, spironolactone, and/or other meds taken to counteract/control/otherwise to wage neverending yet often useless battle against miscellaneous undesirable pcos side effects? Check!
Stomach discretely tucked into super-sucker control-top pantyhose? Check!
Ulcer meds to counteract endless worry about long term pcos effects such as heart disease, diabetes that could potentially result in senseless early death? Check!
Price of all of the above products? Oh, let's just say upwards of $500 (and I'm not counting those who need some injectible not-covered-by-precious-insurance precscription meds in this).
Feeling like you've got the world fooled about how you really realllly look? Priceless.
In this way, life is not fair.
No, don't mind me I'm just a normal girl, thanks. Kindly avert your eyes, nothing to see here.
You know what I'm referring to. That mental appearance checklist that you go through when you have pcos. That checklist that drums through your head much like a particularly irritating song lyric or some crucial tenet of newfound religion. After all, as civilized and open-minded as some members of our society might be, the world just isn't quite ready to see the natural, unembellished effects of pcos on a girl. I think it goes against the grain of our culture and may even break an amendment or two. Or maybe not. Anyway, a girl with pcos feels obligated to cushion the blow, as much as possible anyway, to the general public.
Of course, it's absolutely positively mandatory that you run through the pcos checklist quite thoroughly first thing in the morning. I mean, one can't face the world looking like one belongs in the circus, even if somedays you can't help feeling like you belong there. The day should at least start out as normal as possible. And, it's still crucial that you run through the checklist periodically as you go about your daily routine out amongst the general public. And yeah, it still feels rather obligatory to run through the checklist at least a time or two even while in the comfort of your own home. There's just some things a girl doesn't necessarily want her husband to know. In many of these instances, ignorance is, indeed, bliss.
Bleached/tweezed offending hair, as necessary? Check!
Shaved offending hair, as needed? Check!
Utilization of necessary miracle skin-care products to control acne that plagues us still? Check!
Expertly applied super-absorbent facial powder to control unwanted oil-slick-like shine? Check!
Lipstick chosen in flattering neutral tone to draw attention to more attractive aspects of face and away from blotchiness of skin? Check!
Covertly styled hair to camouflage hair loss, employing creative use of hats and/or super-holding styling products, as needed? Check!
Rogain (need I explain more?)? Check!
Birth control pills (or insert your fertility potion of choice here), glucophage, spironolactone, and/or other meds taken to counteract/control/otherwise to wage neverending yet often useless battle against miscellaneous undesirable pcos side effects? Check!
Stomach discretely tucked into super-sucker control-top pantyhose? Check!
Ulcer meds to counteract endless worry about long term pcos effects such as heart disease, diabetes that could potentially result in senseless early death? Check!
Price of all of the above products? Oh, let's just say upwards of $500 (and I'm not counting those who need some injectible not-covered-by-precious-insurance precscription meds in this).
Feeling like you've got the world fooled about how you really realllly look? Priceless.
In this way, life is not fair.
No, don't mind me I'm just a normal girl, thanks. Kindly avert your eyes, nothing to see here.
posted by ~L @ 1:37 PM
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