Obsessive observations about poop
Alas. My baby boy has the scours. Yes, once again, one of my precious children has driven me to obsess about poop. Presented below, my morning conversation with the doc's office, in convenient, Me vs Them format, for ease of reading:
Me: My kid's got the diarrhea. He's had it for three days. I can deal with that. It is quite troubling to me, however, because he's now having very few wet diapers. Very few. I wanna bring him in.
Them: Give him pedialyte. Take away all his formula. Only give him pedialyte, nothing else.
Me: Um, I don't wanna do that so much, my kid is underweight as it is. Plus, he's not taking his bottle so good now that he's sick. Plus, none of my kids have ever really drank much pedialyte ever, under any circumstances. I think this has to do with it tasting like crap, because I've tasted it myself, you know. Anyhow, I don't feel comfortable just casting my lot with pedialyte.
Them: (continuing on as if they haven't heard a damn thing I've said) only pedialyte for today, and then tomorrow only mix up his formula half-strength.
Me: I mean, the kid wakes up in the morning with no pee in his diaper. NO PEE, just crap. Plenty of that. When this phenomenon happened on Sunday, I thought it might be a fluke. But no, today it has happened again. A bone-dry diaper in the morning. After 11 hours. There is no pee even in the morning, this is what I, as a mother of 3, find quite alarming. Understan?
Them: Just pedialyte today. Just that. Call back tomorrow.
Me: (crying softly) But he's such a little tiny guy, he only weighs 13 lbs soaking wet. Fasting just doesn't seem like the greatest way to deal with illness, it's certainly not an approach I'm familiar with. I'm afraid he's dehydrated because of the aforementioned hysterical rambling that I just told you. You don't even have a medical degree, you're just the secretary after all . . . Please, can't I talk to the nurse, your professional opinion notwithstanding?
Them: Call back tomorrow.
Me: (to no one in particular) I hate you medical secretary. Damn you to hell for so callously dismissing my worries about excessive poop and lack of urine output. I am sending lots of bad karma your way, if it is possible to do such a thing. I'm hoping you catch every single bug encountered by your practice today.
I decide to completely disregard this asshat advice. I'm still giving C his formula, then offering him some pedialyte. He has consumed it with the enthusiasm that my other two children have, mostly because it tastes like ass, but partly because he's not taking his bottle so good during this illness.
Okay. Now that I've typed this out, I think maybe I'm overreacting. But don't you rest easy, medical secretary. Oh, I will be calling you tomorrow, sweetheart.
Me: My kid's got the diarrhea. He's had it for three days. I can deal with that. It is quite troubling to me, however, because he's now having very few wet diapers. Very few. I wanna bring him in.
Them: Give him pedialyte. Take away all his formula. Only give him pedialyte, nothing else.
Me: Um, I don't wanna do that so much, my kid is underweight as it is. Plus, he's not taking his bottle so good now that he's sick. Plus, none of my kids have ever really drank much pedialyte ever, under any circumstances. I think this has to do with it tasting like crap, because I've tasted it myself, you know. Anyhow, I don't feel comfortable just casting my lot with pedialyte.
Them: (continuing on as if they haven't heard a damn thing I've said) only pedialyte for today, and then tomorrow only mix up his formula half-strength.
Me: I mean, the kid wakes up in the morning with no pee in his diaper. NO PEE, just crap. Plenty of that. When this phenomenon happened on Sunday, I thought it might be a fluke. But no, today it has happened again. A bone-dry diaper in the morning. After 11 hours. There is no pee even in the morning, this is what I, as a mother of 3, find quite alarming. Understan?
Them: Just pedialyte today. Just that. Call back tomorrow.
Me: (crying softly) But he's such a little tiny guy, he only weighs 13 lbs soaking wet. Fasting just doesn't seem like the greatest way to deal with illness, it's certainly not an approach I'm familiar with. I'm afraid he's dehydrated because of the aforementioned hysterical rambling that I just told you. You don't even have a medical degree, you're just the secretary after all . . . Please, can't I talk to the nurse, your professional opinion notwithstanding?
Them: Call back tomorrow.
Me: (to no one in particular) I hate you medical secretary. Damn you to hell for so callously dismissing my worries about excessive poop and lack of urine output. I am sending lots of bad karma your way, if it is possible to do such a thing. I'm hoping you catch every single bug encountered by your practice today.
I decide to completely disregard this asshat advice. I'm still giving C his formula, then offering him some pedialyte. He has consumed it with the enthusiasm that my other two children have, mostly because it tastes like ass, but partly because he's not taking his bottle so good during this illness.
Okay. Now that I've typed this out, I think maybe I'm overreacting. But don't you rest easy, medical secretary. Oh, I will be calling you tomorrow, sweetheart.
posted by ~L @ 3:10 PM
1 Comments:
At August 23, 2004 at 4:10 PM,
Lizardbreath said…
Them people that answer the phones at the dr's office are full of false authority and think they know all the shit. Do what you feel is right in your gut. And if he doesn't like pedialyte, give him a sports drink or even just water. Water is better. I have 2 kids of my own and when they are sick, they don't like anything. Water works with them. Forget the dr's office, and if it gets worse, go to the hospital.
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